LSS: sweetest goodbye

i'll never leave you behind or treat you unkind
i know you'll understand
and with a tear in my eye, gave me the sweetest goodbye
that i ever did receive

pushing forward then arching back
bring me closer to heart attack
say goodbye and just fly away
you come back
i have something to say

how does it feel to know you'll never have to be alone when you get home?
there must be some place here that only you and i could go
so i can show you how i feel

...Maroon 5...

a nice saturday evening

It's a nice Saturday evening. Not one when I'd have to use toothpicks to keep my eyes wide open. Not one when I'd have to rest my back on a cold floor or seated with my head resting on the table. Not one when I'd have to keep an alarm clock close by. Not one when I'd have to think hard and analyze. Not one when I'd have to worry too much.

Been staying overnight at the laboratory for weeks now just trying to finish this paper that we hope to publish and present on October in Iloilo. *with crossed fingers* I wish that things will go smoothly. If not, I hope some accident will give way to discoveries or whatever positive entities that can bring us that UNO this semester. Have you walked the streets of UP at 11 pm all by yourself? Or did you even think you were all by yourself? NEC is a scary place to stay in. Scared to death because of the blackout. Scared of walking alone to the comfort room. Scared of being in places where I know some beings have been sighted. Glad I still get to focus on my business amidst all of those. Glad my third eye's closed.

Been working as a graduate assistant at the Department of Mining, Metallurgical and Materials Engineering. Finally. I found some peace at this job. Don't need to stay far away from home just to earn. I'm much closer to where I want to be. Not in conflict with my interests -- want to finish the Masteral Program in two (2) years' time. Had to turn down a couple of offers. But I think I'm on the right track.

Been thinking about a lot of different things.

Want to redecorate my room. Already created a floor plan. Had sketches. Big plans for a room make-over. Fab 5, help me! I'm not a straight guy but I can make use of that queer eye. I wish I had enough money to start buying the stuff that I'd need. Gotta make use of connections for my materials -- frames, paint, furniture, flooring. Moolah, where are you???

Want to teach. Planning to teach high school kids. Perhaps Chem or Math. But definitely not History. I have this thirst of becoming part of many people's lives through teaching and I think I'd be of big influence when the youngsters are in high school -- high school would probably be the most memorable stage in anyone's life. I miss Blue Affinity SY 04-05 of SBS (High School Band Club). Last year has been great for us. We had so many plans and it was great that we were able to push through with most of them. Sayang, sana nakapag-paconcert kami na bigtime. Sayang din, UP could have seen how great they can perform even at a very young age. If it weren't for the time restrictions. Glad their parents didn't kill me for going home late. Hehe. I'm proud to see what musicians have become of them. And I thank all those 24 students of Blue Affinity for giving me the highest rating as club moderator. Maybe next year, I'll be able to handle that club again. Next year? Let's see. I'll be paying a visit to my alma mater next week.

Want to play again. It's been a long time since I performed on stage. I wish I could play with my old bandmates. I want to do an acoustic gig. I'm running through my Lisa Loeb mp3s. I want to do two or three songs -- guitars, vocals or percussions. I miss this medium of expressing my feelings. I don't want to just sing along with my CDs or jam with myself. It'd just be me who would hear it. I want to play. I want to share this. Maybe soon.

Don't want to misinterpret things. But sometimes, I just can't see a clear picture. I don't know what's real and what's not. Was I just daydreaming? Well it's not so much of a 'dream.' It's not like I've had my heart on it. Sometimes I just can't comprehend. What does so and so mean? What are they trying to imply? Am I just being paranoid? I don't think so. I just feel some things don't go as they normally should and it's prompting me to think abnormally. I hope I could tell someone. I hope someone could tell me what's going on.

Been busy. And it's nice to be able to relax again even just for two days. Got enough sleep. Chilled out with friends. Had dinner. Chit-chats. Checked my mail. Had 104 unread messages. Logged on to my YM. Chatted again. Miss some of my friends. Wanna go wall climbing, swimming or jogging. Maybe soon.

Been praying. As always. I hope He would reveal to me His plan. I hope He would take out the unnecessary extras in my life. I hope things will be better. I hope the emptiness will be filled. I hope questions will be answered. I hope I'd get this through Singles. I hope this is Your call.

It's a nice evening. I hope nice is not just for tonight.